So I was there and it was written in the pages of the amphetamine callous that would form at a moments notice. The room would shake but I would be still always still ever still and the northern areas today will be slightly overcast with a chance of some showers sometime this evening. I would not begin to have thought back then what is happening now and the most surreal part of it all is the mystery of why i'm even doing it. I have no clue. The truth can't be in all places all the time It has a busy schedule like that of the planet Kepler-20e. If she arrives and I find that everything is lost from the very beginning I will be kicking myself because I've already had this happen once and I am in constant fear of it happening again. All I've ever heard being talked about is the strain that carries a number digits that can not be multiplied by themselves. Why somebody would lie about this I am unsure, perhaps the same reasons for my own lies. They are completely harmless though... Lies. Aren't they? My worry can't percieve what's truly happening because as well as most of my seriousness, I may have lost brain cells along with it. Maybe it's the true reason she wants to shower. Or am I being paranoid. How can you trust your instincts when  they lie to you? Am I incredibly naive? or is this reality and am I going to realise my instinct was correct all this time when that certain time that I dread finally arrives around the corner and has its way with whatever it pleases, a specific chaos in the form of a prison. Don't listen but learn it because the words are a warning to my future self in 2 months from now even if the financial issues finally cease, what will remain of this union. As you'll be forced to leave for territorial reasons and I can't understand why either of us agreed to this. It terrifies me.


What have I done?

2016-12-12 09:59:07 by shittingpie

What have I done to you? As a great sailor would tell me on only the most luxurious resorts known to man where the horses roam, we are two of a kind and every single moment is a memory from that life I once had that still remains locked in my deceased two year old son's bedroom. Why a certain somebody would commit to such an act is beyond my comprehension, which I believe to be fair because It has been brought up in many a conversation and every single day it is repeated because Im Sorry and I do not know why things had to end up this way but you obviously feel for another soul floating in my fish bowl. It makes a lot of sense to be quite honest because the dream I had where I was vomiting was brought to my conscious attention and research was done numerous times explaining the very meaning of said dream because I could subconsciously tell that all was not what it seemed and my mind tried to warn me but I didn't listen because I'm so addicted to that comfort that I play out in my head, however every time the same thing occurs, with variations ofcourse. I have repeated this scenario too many times and I do not understand what I am doing wrong because I live in a delusion created by my own mind which is God. The oldest one of all the Gods, the age matters because time also occurs within the confines of alternate realities that exist is pockets of space, while accessible with incredible effort, are naked to the human eye where the sockets grow ever so long that eyesight becomes a rarity among the populace, those who have the gift of sight are hunted down and flayed upon a stone altar to rid the dreaded curse of sight the blind shall lead the blind and all shall commence exactly the way it was all intended to be orchestrated from the very beginning of the first conscious thought. I wish you wouldn't toy with me. It makes me incredibly upset.


Spiders

2016-10-24 09:31:25 by shittingpie

Spiders used to give me nightmares, so I stopped eating them before bed.


13

2016-10-12 10:54:55 by shittingpie

The world's most famous artists all have one thing in common, they're all dead.



So in conclusion the Doctor I have to see has recommended me and my other self to see another Doctor therefore limiting the time spent in my state of perpetual perpendicular personality and my mouth had been dry all day from the wind that rolls across the windmill in my front yard but I no longer want to see the world this fluid because it scares me to death because I realised I was not the only meat-sack of portable consciousness that would flood the lands and shape the very existence set out before us. I soon realised I needed another body of three for this other me and I can sense where I will be summoned too next after my own faults were addressed we were cast out to a realm so small you could fit it on the tip of a needle so we were puzzled by the fact then and there when I went to the door to collect the mail from our doorstep that the two shadows that surfaced on the walls of our living room were indeed laughing, in disarray I had to leap with haste to the fish tank and drown our ant farm I was so lost I could not think a thought only the echoes of the moving walls that would dominate my mind, if it were only Sunday maybe this mess that lay out before us could be cleaned and then maybe, just maybe the hot water will come back on. I would give one thousand sets of staplers for the spark plugs you have in your garage right now I need them because my car will not let me let it start the beginning process of engaging the engine in order to move and control the machine by my own will and if a frog floats nine days after death then it should be kept under one's pillow so that the tide wont come in too close to shore and cause total destruction of one's own town or city in saying that, when out at sea always remember the fastest of boats always have the worst jokes to tell and you will not want to listen for long before wanting to commit suicide. If I can cross the ocean on a boat made of rotten banana peels then surely my mother's breakfast cereal won't come and enroll into my school pretending to be new students and end up bullying me and scoring higher on their final exams than me. That in its own sense is a luxary I desire one day to have but really I couldn't see anything wrong with you when I saw you in my hallucination at work today, everything seems to be perfectly fine everything is so good everything is amazing everything is like the totally best fucking thing ever totally like yeah totally like literally. So I actually recommend you see this Doctor too, You will find her name and phone number on this business card and I will give her a ring on the phone and schedule an appointment with her for you, stay in touch for more juicy gossip because it will make your bed sheets softer oh but look at the time it is getting late so let us begin.



In a time of urgent need do not hesitate to call upon me, myself or I, because I have a passionate belief in you and you alone. You who siphons the etchings from closed walls and festering corners while a more obtruse transformation takes place under stars that she that old one has brought unto a gate of delight when the ice-cream van runs over a child but fear not because that very fear is a three course meal to many unsavory applicators. The very signs I saw on the back door on that midnight were eyes and words perverted with anal beads and surrounded by an immature essence imbued in a cask of honey produced by only the finest bees. A night can take a day and a day can take a night but if you stand about just dilly-dallying I might not feel my help will be of any use to you or any associates of yours because I wear this artifact, It is a ring shaped object worn around the head similar to a crown but with a cloak attached, it is the Melam and one can see through the glass panel that is fitted inside this old building while an Asian hooker is the equivalent in value of three chicken eggs and an elderly goat in the age of today. A days work is not recommended because if the opportunity presents itself it will not be ignored the oval of that garden on a morning that won't ever return could be seemingly endless only moving in a constant oval ever connecting and the very concept is hell to me my ideal afterlife and personal heaven is nothingness an eternal coma of unconsciousness similar to the feeling and experience of before I was born for that experience was not only nothingness but total void of all experience and all sexually transmitted diseases such is the desired heaven of a shaman who follows only no afterlife while still pertaining to a certain dogma that nothing speaks underneath a miniscule portion of symbiotic excrement in an artificial and inflated experience spoon-fed by series of incriminating scientists wanting only the tiny satisfaction of having being noticed for something they crave when under strenuous physical pressure by two fat women with gaping ass holes and if hell did not exist then everybody would be weak.



It is plain and I see now I can not see past the gates that lye on edges of Simon as he moves when sunlight shouts and that old dog I owned when I was three years of age because the water I drank from that fountain made me intoxicated while dining on that lemongrass acre in the paddock in the West but do not smell that which has not manifest into our reality because back when Simon was king the entire village could rely on someone especially in dire times it sneezes every fortnight by gloating in ecstacy we would pray to our father in hope a fraction of my dream could become reality while holding hands on the banks of a sandy patch of land brought forth from realms unseen because if I know anything at all it's the fact that I have precise knowledge over the fact at hand that I actually know something and together joined at the hip I can break the scaffold to unhand the prince from that grip that cold uninspiring talent you hold on to so tightly while the beckon of sea mammals becomes apparent could it really be possible that all this time a cacophony was swelling in the midst of yesterdays bread because if you ever have had the chance to bear witness to the gates I'll be under the sign waving my hand at you in a non confrontational manner the things that can be seen are now no longer within the confines of the brief experience held close to my body for it is something and something it shall always be until the watching cradle can bellow a name for me to call in the storm of this winter haven A body I made and a scent is error when you got off the boat did you see him? because I have been told by the northern cityfolk that a cloud of foreign belief has stricken you in the throat but where O my companion has the yew tree fallen and where shall my winding dynasty be laid upon a frightful society that craves the bottom of an iridescent delicacy from realms only believed to exist in a childs story how it happens is not to my awareness but I think Im starting to develop the insight needed to finally comprehend the symbology behind my decrepit sense of having the sensation of living inside a home of naught orange beams that would cascade down the walls when I am using the corners of a building unused but also not forgotten I would reach out my hands to you and encourage you to take hold so that something can be nothing as it was again Is that you Grandma?